It all started with Googling “How to Make Money Online”
I’m not kidding when I say my entrepreneurial ventures started when I Googled “how to make money online.”.
Let’s set the scene.
It’s October 2015 and we’re thick into the Canadian election (not nearly as exciting as the American one, but nonetheless). I was glued to the media, but I hadn’t been back home in Canada for 8 months.
Where oh where was I, you wonder?
I was traveling in Central America, Africa, and the Middle East!
And then, I was entering the Canadian job market for the first time since graduating with my shiny, new, basically pointless Bachelor of Arts double major in human rights and political science with a concentration in international relations and a minor in Spanish. Now, that’s a mouthful.
No matter how many words in my degree, it didn’t prepare me for a cushy government job in our beautiful capital of Canada, Ottawa. That was what I truly thought I wanted. In retrospect, THANK F%CKING JESUS IT DID NOT WORK OUT! (Can I scream that any louder?)
Why didn’t it prepare me, you ask?
I mean, I seem like an articulate, adventurous, conscientious, cultured, knowledgeable, humanistic, and dashing young woman (I really like to sell myself). So, why?
Well, duh — it’s Canada. And I don’t speak French.
Let’s fast forward to me failing a security clearance to work for the U.S. embassy (again, ANOTHER bullet dodged). Not to mention failing to get ANY interviews at any cool spots in Ottawa. I ended up settling for a 3-week stint at an architecture firm transferring hard copy documents into electronic copies. Talk about yawn-fest 2015.
Holy BAJEESUS was it ever boring. But I showed up, I did my work professionally, and I kept my head down because I didn’t know what I was doing. The only office experience I ever had before then was showing up for 1 hour to file paperwork at my Dad’s insurance agency before I cried to get out of it (I was 12, don’t judge me).
Second day on the job, my body starts to shut down. I go home and feel like there are 400 lbs on my shoulders, my hips are KILLING me, and my neck … well, there aren’t enough special symbols on this keyboard to convey just how bloody much it hurt. But it hurt a lot, the pain, perhaps, the equivalent of childbirth (Mothers – I’m sorry, I know this is likely an inaccurate comparison, but just go with it, okay? ‘Kay thanks).
I tried to suck it up and keep going only for it to get exponentially worse. That Friday, I got a massage to help alleviate the pain and was told there’s some serious tension in my neck. I rest over the weekend and by Monday morning I’m back to 80%. By Monday evening (the day Canada finally elected a good Prime Minister), I was in worse shape than ever before.
I called in sick. They didn’t believe me. I told them I couldn’t walk (because I couldn’t!), but they still didn’t believe me. I went to a doctor and got all the necessary documentation — and they STILL didn’t believe me. The doctor told me I had a pinched nerve and there was a 95% chance it resulted from the seating arrangement at my job (which was a chair that didn’t allow me to have my feet on the ground and a desk that made me look slightly to the left).
So, I went on workers’ compensation. Do you know how much they gave me a month? $125 CAD. Do you know how much that is in USD? $5. Okay, not really, but it was around $90 USD.
What else was I supposed to do to earn a living? I couldn’t sit in a chair and do office work. The largest staffing company in Ottawa that hooked me up with the temp job blacklisted me (or so I assumed). And now I was back at square one. No, I was back to square minus 10.
So, I prayed to the Google gods, and they directed me to … wait for it ….
No, seriously … wait for it …
An eHow article! Can you believe that?.
And if you don’t, here it is (this has now been updated and rebranded — we’re all evolving, right?): How to Make Money on the Internet
I chose the freelance option because I was a “Poli-Sci” major. I.e I can spin ANYTHING. I’m a master bullshit extraordinaire.
Seriously, ask me how the election of George W. Bush affected the water flow at Victoria Falls in Zimbabwe. I can write a pretty damned convincing university grade paper on it. I mean, I won’t, but I could.
So, I started off writing travel blog posts because obviously. And then I did press releases. And then I taught myself SEO.
And then I interviewed for this one job and thought I did okay. However, I came to the unfortunate realization I probably wasn’t going to get it. It wasn’t that I wasn’t personable enough or whatever … I just didn’t think I had the right skill set that would set me up for success with the job. I hadn’t heard of half the programs she used, nor did I think I impressed her that much.
A week later, I was hired. Fast forward to today — I still work for her.
Thank you Google Gods!