How To Transform Your Fear
But before I get too far ahead of myself, let’s start at the beginning.
Let’s talk about your fight flight or freeze response.
A man comes up to you with what appears to be a gun in his pocket. He’s yelling at you to hand over your purse.
What do you do?
1. You starting punching the poor soul, kicking him in his baby maker and yelling at him to never threaten you again.
2. Do you RUN for the hills at lightning speed?
3. Do you stand still and scared shitless not knowing what to do. You’re not fighting, you’re not running and you’re not giving the thief your money.
Now, let’s think back to a time when there were no cell phones, no computers, no cars or horse-drawn carriages, no candles, no tailored clothing, nor any civility really. Think back to those caveman days, where you were either a hunter (men) gatherer (woman) or dead.
There is no warning text to let you know danger is around the corner, there is no carrier pigeon to let you know a woolly mammoth is 30 feet away. No, it’s you and you alone (and maybe your tribe), and your LIFE depends on your response.
This FIGHT FLIGHT OR FREEZE instinct is still within us today.
Science has proven that the neural transmitters that alerted you back in the day, haven’t been eliminated with our evolution as Homo sapiens.
Isn’t it crazy to think that a lot of your anxiety is due to that fact that our ANCIENT AF Ancestors were trying to stay alive? Yup – those pesky psychological and psychological reactions that happen when you realize you just blew through all your savings or are about to confront a friend who’s been throwing shade at you behind your back is quite similar to how you would have felt had you been staring death straight in the eye.
In other words, your body and brain processes death the same way does when you’re speaking on stage for the first time.
HOW FLIPPING CRAZY IS THAT?
God, no reason we’re all anxious messes!
But here’s the thing. This shit ain’t going anywhere, so the real fun in lies in how we are going to get over this crap.
Riddle me this, what is the opposite of fear?
Now you may have thought of a few answers, but let’s all agree to disagree that its confidence/courage. But from here on out, I’m just going to use confidence.
Confidence isn’t this magic emotion that comes to you after you figured everything out and you’ve “made” it.
Nor is it something that is natural and comes to you whenever the universe feels like it.
Confidence is transformed fear and knowing this is going to change your life.
But you’re going to have to work with it.
Welcome to one of the very first things you need to learn to be a successful entrepreneur.
Harnessing the power of that beautiful brain of yours to supersede those old patterns that no longer serve you.
Since we know that our brains aren’t able to get rid of the fight flight or freeze response, I encourage each and everyone one of you reading this to step up to the plate and take control of your mind.
And now… let’s bring this theory back into the business.
How has these fight, flight or freeze reaction shown up in your everyday life?
For me, it’s my content – especially blog writing (ironic isn’t it).
I also have a fear of being imperfect, thinking that I could never be successful unless I get everything done with 110%.
I also have a ginormous fear of success, coupled with some serious self-confidence issues. So I am faced with the dilemma of getting my shit out there, on a consistent basis to make a name for myself, or half asking it. And I come into this problem. EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. I got to:
1. Write a blog post
2. Prepare Social Media Content
3. Record a Podcast
4. Edit a podcast
5. Release a podcast
6. You get what I’m saying
And most of the times, I trick my brain into doing the right thing.
Here’s the thing. I’m a flight risk. I’m dead positive that if my friend and I were going to be a hit by a car, I would push her into the car if it meant saving myself. I’m not proud of this – but this is my instinctual habit.
I also use this example because it may or may not have happened before – OR so I thought, turns out the car was in total control but anxious Amy thought it was totally out of control. Easy to say, my mom was VERY mad at me. SORRY MAMA.
So you can only assume that when I am faced with this fear, and a situation (fight or flight) my instinct is to hide, give up, run away, pretend like the date hasn’t come and gone, and just ignore it until it goes away.
Or at least that is what I used to do. I’ll be honest, it’s not like it NEVER happens, but it’s by pure accident and not a self-sabotaging
You’re probably wondered how I was able to get over it? And there really is no 1 sure fire way to do so. But there’s one thing I learned that works across the board. Now it may not be your saving grace, but it sure as hell will give your business a boost.
CONFIDENCE BABY – BLOODY CONFIDENCE!
CONFIDENCE is considered TRANSFORMED FEAR – and you’re probably thinking WTF Amy – WHAT ON EARTH ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!
The biggest misconception that us online biz owners have is that confidence is a destination. A place that we will arrive at, after a certain about of information is obtained, money is made, or clients are helped. We think we’ll be the most confidence AF
I wish this were the case.
I honestly think I was more confident about my business 1 year ago than I am right now. Sure, it’s evolved to a place I didn’t even foresee a year ago, and it doesn’t look like anything that I thought I would be – it’s BETTER.
But that scares me, I’m scared I’m going to lose it all, I’m scared that the last 3 years of my life were for nothing, I’m scared that people are going to judge me and that I don’t know enough. I’m scared of ALL THE THINGS – and I bet you are too. But that doesn’t stop me from pushing, pushing outside my comfort zone to where the magic really happens.
When I learned that confidence wasn’t a destination, but actually a VALUE I held/wanted to hold, things got a lot and I mean A LOT easier. It wasn’t
I want you to think of confidence as a new language/skill you are learning. When you start out with it, you feel silly, out of your element and totally in the dark on what to do and how to do it.
Confidence is a muscle, and baby we’re going to build it.